I want to sleep with a stripper, but my lifestyle is in a different realm and my interests and values are just not aligned. It’s not going to happen, but the thought is there.
I come from a white middle class family,where a holiday based around museums was always opted over a holiday by the beach. From an early age I was taught the importance of manners and curtesy; how to hold my knife and fork properly, which fork to use for what course, and the importance of competent diction. I have used the word swimmingly in a sentence before and I will use it again. Out of my immediate social circle I’m the only one who doesn’t have a tattoo. When I’m with them in public and I notice we’re on our phones, I put mine away so bystanders won’t notice that young people have entirely given up on face-to-face interaction. I have an eclectic taste in music; Kind of Blue by MIles Davis is one of my favorite albums, has been since I was seventeen. I’m also partial to the loosely composed Impressionist work of Debussy such as Pagodes – it’s ethereal and that’s a good thing to me. Once I went to see a German opera and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I apply sunscreen on most spring and summer days so I can have good, clear skin when I’m thirty-five. I wake up at dawn to write everyday before work where I earn money that I save or spend wisely. I have an earnest desire for knowledge outside of a formal class setting that extends into art, culture and history. World War II has specifically interested me for years down to the details of armored vehicle production – while Germany’s Panzer and Tiger divisions were well trained and cutting edge, it was the mass production of Russia’s simple yet effective T-34 that led to Germanys defeat at Kursk and ultimately their consecutive losses after 1943 and all the way to the bloody end.
However this is contradicted by a need that lurks on my shoulders like a bad memory. All this, all this weekend newspaper knowledge and its use bewilders me, wasted like water poured onto concrete, because in a dark, tuna can stray cat alley of my head all I want to do is bust a nut inside a stripper.