I want to watch Farrah Abraham’s Backdoor Teen Mom, but I quit porn. I want to watch all of MTV’s Teen Mom so I get accustomed to seeing Farrah with her clothes on so when I watch the porn her nudity will be a potent revelation. She got paid high six figures to sell her porno to vivid entertainment, she justifies it as a celebration of her feminine side and youthful body (isn’t that what Instagram is for?). Anyway, it won’t be like a normal porno where you see some girl you don’t know spread her cheeks for the camera. I would have really gotten a feel for who Farrah is, exhaust my mental energy trying to imagine her naked bent over on the couch when I watch her buy baby food with her stepdads cash.
For what it’s worth she is trying to escape this video, she claims it isn’t porn. She wants to get a spot on Days of Our Lives and Dancing With the Stars. She also plans to write an erotic novel and give 50 Shades a run for its money. Farrah states that because she’s a sexual person, writing an erotic novel would be innate. As someone who writes filth nearly every morning, I can say having a dirty mind does not equal being able to pen it fluidly. Perhaps she can prove me wrong.
Reading about movie stars from the 1950′s and 60′s, I’m aware you’d catch a bus to L.A. and work hard to get into show business. This whole practice of using porn as a shortcut or leg-up gives me pause.
Anyway, I could immerse myself into everything she’s done, clock up a couple dozen hours of watching her nag and perambulate around Walmart parking lots, then download the porno. It would be like going into a different dimension or something, different production with slutyy hair and makeup. It’s a step from one world where she’s a somewhat innocent mother and most importantly, clothed, to the next where she’s pinching away her G string and getting rear-ended by James Deen. I would look on with despair, grief and acute voyeurism.
However, I cannot watch Backdoor Teen Mom or even Teen Mom. I quit porn a few months ago and I can’t go back to that, not even for this. There’s a reason Vivid paid in full for this; men secretly just want to see girls who have a status or position of wealth become decrepit and downtrodden. Kim Kardashian anyone? So I can’t fucking watch it… but damn it would be a good scene to bust a nut to though.