The book’s title actually has nothing to do with female models, or role models. Sounds more like a bands album.
I read this book over a long period of time, I stewed on it allowing it’s merits to sink in. It critically changed my perspective on what attraction is between man and woman, challenged existing beliefs and supported older ones which I had almost abandoned.
In short, this book presents attraction through honest living, that you’re ability to attract the opposite sex is directly linked to how much you’re living for yourself and not other people and their ideals. Author, Mark Manson states that going after what you want, regardless of societal norms is largely what makes a man attractive. On the flip-side, unattractive behavior is hesitation and fear. That’s what struck me, how omnipresent fear and hesitation is, that being discontent with your job will surface as insecurity during your interactions with females. Overall, everything in life is linked. I now have a personal denigration of inaction, if I’m inactive or passive towards one part of my life, there will be a cap on my progress in other parts. Work, career and job are all terms that came into my mind a lot in this book. I can comfortably approach women, but in the end I’m hitting a brick wall if work and a strong social life isn’t sorted out.
1. “As a man, you don’t have to actually be rich and famous, you just have to show a lot of potential for being rich and famous to be considered extremely attractive. Or display the behaviors that imply being rich and famous.
2. “The new conclusion is that female arousal is somewhat narcissistic in nature. Women are turned on by being wanted, by being desired. Suddenly, seemingly disconnected events that arouse women — a romantic marriage proposal in one instance, and a rape fantasy in another — make sense. Both indicate an extreme desire in her by a man. A man who’s willing to sacrifice everything to be with her. One is sacrificing his sexual freedom, the other is risking his actual freedom… for her. All for her. This is hot.”
3. ”Neediness is being more highly invested in other people’s perceptions of you than in your perception of yourself.”
4. ”I always tell guys, if every girl you date is unstable and crazy, that’s a reflection of your emotional maturity. Confident people don’t date unconfident people and vice-versa. Women who aren’t needy don’t date men who are needy. They simply don’t have the patience nor the respect for them.”
5. ”The biggest criticism of showing interest to a woman that you want to be with is that it immediately shows you as highly invested in her responses. When you say, “You’re cute and I wanted to meet you,” that translates roughly to, “Hi, I want to be with you and am officially invested in the prospect of it happening.” What they miss though is the sub-communication going on underneath what’s actually being said. The sub-communication is, “I’m totally OK with the idea of you rejecting me, otherwise I would not be approaching you in this manner. Therefore I’m comfortable with myself and my prospects.”
6. ”Other men often stick to plain jokes and safe topics of conversation that end up not polarizing at all for fear of being rejected. This is also a form of hiding one’s truth, not showing vulnerability, being needy and therefore not being attractive.”
7. ”This is the plight of the Nice Guy. He’s afraid of eliciting an emotional response in anybody, especially women (and especially himself), therefore he’ll play it safe and elicit Neutral reactions from woman after woman. And when women are Neutral for too long without being polarized, then they will make themselves unreceptive.”
8. ”Like I mentioned earlier, the most common strategy with guys who are inexperienced with women is “to be liked by all; hated by none.” But when it comes to being intimate and attracting women, this is a horrible strategy. Being hated by nobody usually means you’re not loved by anybody either.”
9. ”If your true passion is art and you push paper around at an insurance firm, then you’re not living honestly with yourself. You’ve compromised your identity in some way to fit what others have dictated it should be — in this case, you’ve given up what actually makes you happy in order to fit the values or roles of other people in society (having a stable job, working in the corporate world, having a nice house/car, etc.) This displays a lack of vulnerability and a lot of neediness.”
10. ”Part of living the honest lifestyle is to pursue what you’re passionate about to the fullest extent. If you absolutely love visiting art exhibitions, don’t just visit a bunch of art exhibitions, but take an active role in the organization, start a meet up group to find other people who want to visit them, create a forum for commentary. Don’t just pursue your interests, become a leader in your interests. Don’t just choose a demographic of women to meet, dominate that demographic.”
11. ”There is nothing “high value” about a really hot girl, it’s just that men project their insecurities onto these women and think there’s something valuable about them. If you ask these women themselves, they have no perception of this “value” or “status” you speak of. None at all. These are just merit badges in your head, constructed as a sad way to validate yourself.”
12. ”let’s say you get scared to death to say anything when a beautiful girl sits down next to you. The fact that you’re scared to death demonstrates a high level of investment and neediness in her opinion of you.”
13. ”I’m going to say this point-blank: getting physical with women, and getting physical quickly and comfortably, is ultimately what will determine how much success you have with women in the long-run more than anything else.”
Since reading Models I’ve been frequenting Mark Manson’s blog now called markmanson.net which he has now made gender neutral. This doesn’t surprise as his advice for improving your dating life is largely specific to confidence, human psychology and lifestyle.
Click here to buy Models